Tuesday, July 19, 2005
My com is still NOT OK. that lousy piece of @#$^%&^. i'm so sorry that i can't reply to any tags for now... will try to borrow someone's com soon =D
Blogging with Hello's really weird. like it's compulsory to post a picture. so i shall post the funny breadtalk $2 cake. it's real pretty. darn tiny. and $2 is on offer you know. still so expensive.
Sent brandon to off at the airport today. he says you can see that love is all around at the airport. (he copied the quote from 'love actually') envied how close and sweet they looked when he said goodbye to his parents grandparents sister & even cousins. i was never that close to my family in any way.
Suddenly recalled the box of my favourite belgian chocolates in the fridge that someone had given to me on my birthday. realized that the thoughts of them being consumed do not make my heart ache anymore. finally decided to open up and eat a piece. ummmm nice... gonna expire on september anyway...
Sometimes... when i think back on certain events of my life... i really felt very ashamed of myself. so naive. so silly. what was i thinking of. why was i even doing that. whywhywhy i felt like turning back time...
Have you ever felt that way before?
But as time passes i realised they do fade. there are a lot of things which i couldn't quite recall anymore. or the feelings aren't that strong anymore. i'm gonna try to finish up my belgian chocolates fast.
My friends from work were talking about getting married early the other day. which reminded me of my 'ambition' to marry at 25. but it suddenly came to me that it may not be very possible. see here. i'm 19 this year. i visualized myself to be going through at least a 5 year relationship before i can safely assure myself that this is the right guy i wanna grow old with. which means i gotta get that serious boyfriend by next year! *thinking... which seems to prove that my visualizations could never come through.
Ok lah maybe next year not so bad.
Arghhk! who wants me. i'm very demanding. i have high expectations of my guy. he has to give me a lot of attention; take care of me all the time; be there for me all the time; cheer me up successfully when i'm down; be very sweet; never ever lie to me etc.
So self-centered!! psst i especially can't stand dishonesty.
Actually i never knew i was like that. maybe i got spoilt from the last time. maybe it's time to grow out of such puppylove.
When i realised that this guy would potentially bring me a lot of disappoinments in future... i'd rather not have him at all and be alone.
On the other hand, i have no answer as to what a girl like jinling can offer a guy like him. no achievements no status no looks no nothing. nada! i sometimes feel like sucha little prawn beside him.
dara left a footprint @
1:03 AM
v(*^-^*)v
